day 52 – jolts

1.

numb, save a jolt of electricity
here and there
no need to remember
faces or names –
just easing through seasons
trying to capture a glimpse
of meaning in ashes
and endings
and death

2. jolt 1

i am sorry i taught you bitterness,
convinced you solitary death
is better than love,
always fleeting

i carry those years with me;
dream-like,
youthful,
twelve seasons
brimming with magic

you bury those years;
ghost-like,
painful,
one ending
and a lifetime of regret

how dare you blemish
cherished memories
with blame

how dare you forget
our sunny back yard
and black cat
and me in my fur coat
on your 23rd birthday

how dare you discredit
the first time i saw you smile,
the first time i fell in love,
the first time i died

2. jolt 2

the mischievious look in your eyes
as you debate kissing my cheek,
ultimately decide against it
and leap off the bus

jolt 3.

pure electricity

i can’t lie still
i can’t breathe
i can’t help it

day 50 – snowy revelation

somewhere in the safety of a blizzard,
we watch obscure films and eat chinese food
under a shabby roof blanketed in majestic white
and i find some other way to claw out of this hole

i’m hiding from everything –
all this could also be yours
(for a decidedly limited time)
in exchange for some secrecy,
a fair amount of patience
and your neck to bury my face in
when i want to scream in the night