*

pastel dusk to
midnight blue

have you met
my vortex?

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2 am

i warn that i am not an entitlement,
wilting in the dark like some
neglected flower

i warn that i am not an entitlement,
that i can be unkind,
that i can leave

your tone changes

but

i don’t want to have to frighten you
into acknowledging my value

i don’t have the answers

i choke on my anxiety at 2 am

canada day

in a week the fireworks will erupt,
commiserating with all the colourful
explosives residing in me

june 24, 2014

cobwebby predispositions

it feels like you are skinning my
composure with a carrot peeler

obsessing over a lone word, only
to miss the substantial ones
because of it

leave me for the wolves tonight and
the miserable grey dawn tomorrow

cobwebby predispositions

rut

never more useless

i have nothing to say

i just cast my gaze down,
satiated with cigarette butts and
expelled chewing gum

3 am

you say you are on your way to sleep
i say i am far from it

i ask you to say something kind
so i don’t torment myself
when night grows lonely

you curse a bit and disappear
to that other plane of existence

i am tormenting myself
night is lonely

june 18, 2014

i put a lot of things on the table yesterday

i watched you examine each one carefully,
handling them gently so as not to disturb
my composure

i make eyes like a stray cat
when you tell me you want
to protect me, but i like it
all the same