your nephew dismembering
the rose tree, manufacturing
flower petal confetti

drying up beside the pool,
june sun burns
hot this year

i need
a moment

i need
all these moments


begrudging admission

a children’s top
tornadoing around,
glittery eyed
celebrity status

i resent  the idea that
anyone needs more
(look at the rosebush,
sky speckled white,
human eyeballs)

life is a highway,
you awful cliché
of a song

test old magic on
new ground, always
cared for fables over
fairy tales anyway

i am not made of lace
or kitchen appliances
or past tense

i felt something
really honest

june 18, 2015

apathetic about the
passenger seat, watching
people fill up their machines on
moderate wednesday afternoons

clutching a rainbow daisy bouquet,
succulent (haworthia) between
my knees, some gifts to stay in
touch with the living world

i buried my hedgehog
of five years beneath
the raspberry tree
a few hours ago

named him after my least favourite
salinger character, so you can’t
really blame him for being
such an asshole

june 15, 2015

she says it’s
hard to forget
something that
never happened

i think about cutting
eye holes in that old
white sheet to make
her metaphors literal

i think about those
electric collars they
shock adventurous
dogs with

i think about how
i don’t care about how
she feels about
her beach body

i think about the
parts of people
we hold onto for
old time’s sake

she says it’s
hard to forget
something that
never happened

?/spreadsheet nothings/you’ve had better employees

something to explain
is that it’s not and/or,
it’s just me –
i am everything right now
(sun, cell phone screen, protagonist,
river bank, coffee cup, airplane, moon…)

if a living creature was dying,
would you leave it to
writhe around in the mud?
either way,
then what?

comfort in playing dead –
don’t want to be dead –
just a meditative stance,
on my back, arms crossed,
can’t speak, can’t hear
(can’t hurt)

who are you, anyway?
what did you do with all the parts
you keep claiming exist
but aren’t here?

who am i, anyway?
wouldn’t it be nice to find out
in an exponentially less
dramatic fashion?

data entry quickly morphs
into pro/con list –
rematerialize into my own life,
hold onto the very small moments
(horse race, cinco de mayo, photobooth,
alleyway, tap dancing, velvet)
but don’t try to define them

june 14, 2015

sleepy dusk sky, i
am inflating my heart

i think you like poking holes in it

bowling name:
denim queen,
bowling trick:
creative visualization

i keep agreeing to stay,
you keep agreeing to be kind,
dysfunction makes a home on
the living room couch,
gets drunk off cheap beer
and frustration

slam every single door
in the goddamn house
(you’re not listening to me
speak, so maybe this?)

dig myself a hole
to sleep in

think about it when
i close my eyes